A dear friend tells me they regularly wish they’d never been born. I may have some vague idea what this feels like; it certainly can’t be good. My heart aches for them.
Having such a feeling implies our pain and suffering swallow up and extinguish the very lovingkindness of God, that no future good, even the majesty of Heaven, justifies the struggle of our existence. It’s giving up on God, and giving in to hopelessness. (1Th 4:13)
This is, of course, all a lie (Ps 63:3), but coldly relating truth as a clinical fact to a despondent, suffering soul may very well be unhelpful and counterproductive. (Pr 25:20) They likely already admit this truth, at least intellectually, and want to believe it deep inside, but when we lose sight of God’s goodness we faint (Ps 27:13), and words lose their meaning.
Before passing judgement, or reprimanding, let’s note carefully that Job did this in spades: he cursed his birthday (Job 3:1), in the strongest possible language, demanding it be forgotten (3), set apart from the rest of the year as a day of blackness and despair (4), and God never scolded Job for this. God let Job honestly express his suffering in the extreme and bore patiently with him … and didn’t curse his birthday.
The complexities of the snares and wounds of the depressed, the anxious, the neurotic, the layers of pain and deception and strongholds, are only known by God. Without divine perspective life can indeed be too painful for us to bear. (Ps 73:16)
As we look for ways to help our suffering brothers and sisters, we submit to God and bear one another’s burdens, fulfilling the Law of Christ (Ga 6:2), gently (2Ti 2:24) speaking truth in love (Ep 4:15), and only as He leads (1Pe 4:11), asking Him to minister grace through our words as He wills. (Ep 4:29)
Deliverance often comes one layer at a time, one puzzle piece at a time, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. (Is 28:10) God must give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth (2Ti 2:25) so they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil: until then, they’re prisoners of war, taken captive by Satan at his will. (26)
Let us comfort (2Co 1:4) by first listening and being present (Job 2:13), empathizing with their pain and feeling it with them as best we can. (Ro 12:15) Knowing that we care, that we’re there for them, may be all they need from us for now.