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Ephesians 5

25   Husbands, love your wives,...
          love: to have affection based on admiration or benevolence,
                   in loyalty and unselfish concern to freely accept another and seek their
                   good
          Husbands are to love their wives faithfully...
       ...even as Christ also loved the church,...
          ...in the same manner and with the same kind of love that Jesus Christ has
          demonstrated for His elect, the Church.
       ...and gave himself for it;
          Jesus Christ gave everything to purchase His bride, and will stop at nothing
          to protect her and promote His oneness with her.  He is as interested in her
          welfare as He is in His own: she is part of Him.

26   that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the
        word,
          He died for her to separate her to Himself and see her purified and brought
          to maturity and wholesomeness.

27   that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or
       wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without
       blemish.
          Jesus Christ will present the Church to Himself; He is preparing her for
          Himself and will work patiently and persistently with her to make her
          perfectly suited to Himself as His wife. In a sense, He is cultivating her.

28   So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.  He that loveth
       his wife loveth himself.
          In the same manner as Jesus Christ loves the Church, men should love their
          wives, taking care of their needs even as they take care of themselves. The
          same affection and interest that a man shows towards his own welfare, both
          physical, emotional, and spiritual, he should consistently show toward his
          wife.  Since he and his wife are one flesh, and she is dedicated to promoting
          his welfare, when he blesses and nourishes his wife he makes her all the
          more capable of being his helper.  Her interests and needs should be just as
          important to him as his own needs, and he should make as much of an effort
          to satisfy and bless his wife as he makes for himself.

29   For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth
       it, even as the Lord the church:
          Every man takes regular care of his own physical needs, and is deeply
          interested in his own personal welfare, in the same manner as Jesus Christ
          pursues the welfare of the church.

30   For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
          We are part of the body of Jesus Christ, and that is the reason He cares for
          us with the same interest that He cares for Himself.

31   For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be
       joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
          Because of the love of Jesus Christ for the Church, and His purpose to
          become eternally one with her, a man should separate himself from the
          authority of his family and make a new family with his wife, in which they are
          to be unified in body, soul, heart, mind, and spirit.

32   This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
          The marriage of a man and a woman is an earthly picture of the marriage of
          God with His people.

33a Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as
       himself...
          Even though his marriage is a picture of eternal things, let every husband
          treat it as reality and make no difference between his own needs and the
          needs of his wife.
 

DISCUSSION

      What does the word "husbandry" mean? How does this help to define the role
           of an husband?

      What does it mean to be an heir of the grace of life? (1 Pet 3:7)

      Does Jesus Christ confront the church over every single sin? (Rev 2:24)
            What does this imply about leadership in holiness? How does it relate to
             husbandry?

       How does a husband practically love his wife as Christ loves the church?

• Always protect her and seek her welfare as his own.
• When she is distressed, try - with the same earnestness he would expend if he himself were distressed - to find a way to help her.
• Take time to study her, to seek to understand her needs.  A woman's needs are quite different from a man's. (1 Peter 3:7a)
• Honor her frame as the weaker vessel, not demanding of her more than she can reasonably bear. (1 Peter 3:7b)
• Teach her and take spiritual responsibility in the marriage. (1 Cor 14)
• Bear patiently with her faults. (1 Peter 4:8)

      What should the husband do when his wife is persistently defiant, insolent,
      rebellious, disrespectful, argumentative, critical, condescending, sarcastic,
      disobedient, contradictory, neglectful, careless or otherwise irreverent?
      (1 Tim 3:5, 1 Cor 6:7, 1 Peter 3:14, Jas 5:9)

      How should the husband demonstrate leadership in the home? (1 Tim 3:12)

      What should a husband's attitude in the home be?
           (1 Cor 16:13, Eph 6:10, Col 3:15,19; 2 Tim 1:7, Heb 5:2, 1 Peter 3:8, 5:5)
           bitter :    harshly reproachful, sharp and resentful, marked by cynicism and
                        deep-seated ill will
           humble: not proud or haughty, not arrogant or assertive or vain,
                         reflecting a state of deference or submission

Further reading: Of Power and Of Love

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