There is a place in the heart of God where I must dwell for a while, a mysterious conjunction of His anger, His justice and His mercy. It is the fullness of His love.
Like Micah of old, I will feel all of His love together, at once, in context: “I will bear the indignation of the LORD, because I have sinned against him, until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness.” (Mi 7:9)
Indignation: righteous anger; strong displeasure at something unjust, appalling, offensive, insulting or base.
I will bear, endure and accept, agree and align with God’s righteous anger toward me. His is perfect hatred, so beautiful I cannot hide. I drink Him into my innermost being, all of Him, everything about Him, even His strong displeasure … because I have sinned against Him.
I agree with Him: there is no excuse for any of my wrongs. I lie prostrate, afflicted, trembling before Him. It is the safest place in the universe: unprotected, naked, vulnerable before my God. (2Co 5:11)
I will stay before Him, filling myself with all of Him, and I will never leave, because I know … He pleads my cause. He looks over my life and finds nothing in me to defend, yet He pleads for me. He will never find anything good in me, but He will reason, He will argue before the court of Heaven … He Himself will win the case of His own justice against me.
He is the one I have offended … yet He will execute judgement for me … because my righteousness is not in myself. All my hope lies in Another; I have a perfect righteousness in God’s own Son. God sees the travail of His soul and is completely satisfied. (Is 53:11) Yeshua took my place in death, became my sin for me, bearing the dreadful curse on my behalf. (2Co 5:21) He died, now I go free. “He will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold His righteousness.” My redeemer lives! (Job 19:25-7)
“O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!” (Ro 11:33)