To Lust

Lust is a challenging topic for all of us, especially for men; sexual addictions are much more common than we might think, even among Christian leaders. Accountability groups often fail as men confess helplessness and continue in mutual brokenness. Rather than exhorting both wives and husbands in proper marital duty, or offering any practical help for singles, Churches often drive shame into silence, resentment and bitterness. Real solutions are rare indeed.

To find healing we must [1] identify sin biblically, [2] expose the lies empowering lust, [3] find repentance to acknowledge the truth, and then [4] recover ourselves from spiritual capativity. (2Ti 2:25-26)

Lust is desire orienting our will to obtain what’s forbidden, such that (when plausible) we devise a plan to acquire it, intending to execute. (Ja 1:14-15) So, a man who’s checking out a married woman isn’t lusting until he devises a plan to entice her and commits to doing so. Guilt is about intent: what we purpose in our hearts (Mt 5:28), and nothing else.

But why do we lust? If it were just physics men wouldn’t lose interest in disrespectful, unfaithful women (Pr 30:21,23a); kept women wouldn’t flirt and seduce (Pr 23:28): the spirituality of sexuality drives lust – we’re trying to fill a spiritual vacuum. Though the wicked domineer and abuse others, decent souls seek one-flesh intimacy, love and respect; it’s built into our DNA. (Ge 2:18) Sex is a shadow, a pale reflection of the connection we all long for in God. (Ep 5:32)

When we aren’t fulfilled in either God or our spouse we’re tempted to seek elsewhere. (1Co 7:15) We fall for the lie that the stranger will satisfy (Pr 5:3), but the well is toxic. (4-5)

To heal the shallow appeal of lasciviousness we must first deal with our lack of divine intimacy (Eph 4:17-19), and begin abiding in God until this primal need for love and acceptance is being met by God at the deepest levels. (Ps 73:25) This is what we’re made for: nothing else can satisfy. (Ep 3:19)

Convinced that only God can meet our ultimate need for love, respect, security and acceptance, we recover ourselves from spiritual captivity by walking this out, ordering our thoughts and actions to reflect and align with this reality. (Ps 119:9) And as we seek, we find. (Mt 7:8) Only then may we bring the strength and health into our relationships that God intended, and be the blessings God’s designed us to be, rather than desperate, craving souls longing to be fed and nurtured.

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3 thoughts on “To Lust”

  1. It’s good. I think the reasons people not just men, lust are more complicated than what you’ve mentioned, but I agree that the ultimate reason they are lusting is lack of intimacy with God. It’s the best place to start, in the scripture, with the cause. The way in which we are healed needs help from the expression of these truths through the ministry of likeminded counsel of wise elder men and women and or counselors. I don’t believe it will happen very quickly unless we are healed in community. If so, well meaning Christian men and women everywhere wouldn’t struggle so much. It starts by being honest with yourself, something very few people know how to do bc ashamed and insecure parents for generations don’t know how to teach their children to be honest with God and themselves.

    1. Wow! This is so good and so important. People we trust in community can help us discover the lies which enslave us, point us to the truth and pray with us for our deliverance and healing. (“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Ja 5:16)

      Other than meditation on scripture, this is the other primary way that we grow – by letting others build us up in and through Truth; it’s how we edify one another. (“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Eph 4:29) It isn’t one or the other: it’s a BOTH – AND. We aren’t meant to struggle in isolation.

      As we observe others walking out biblical principles in their lives we see how the truth works, how it is incarnated again through Christ living in us, bringing the Way and the Truth and the Life out of the shadows of theological discourse into the practical realities of our lives.

      This is how the Church of the living God is both the pillar and ground of the truth: we are a pillar to uphold the Eternal Way of God for all to see, and also a ground of the Truth, a supernatural conduit connecting Heaven to Earth. (“But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.” 1Ti 3:15)

  2. Good stuff. Abiding in God for the deep fulfillment that we lack, then often enact on others in twisted forms of eroticism is definitely a big part of the problem.

    Looking to be complete without that abiding, I mean.

    Another big problem is a culture-wide objectification of women as sex objects.

    We need to understand what it means to find our fulfillment and healing by practicing the presence of God in our lives. This will shape where and how we find peace and love and how we perceive others.

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